Friday, August 22, 2008

It's been 3 weeks....But Who's Counting?

Flashback to Saturday night. I took my wife out for a nice dinner. We had great conversation. Had a couple of drinks. All was going well and I thought I might get lucky (we're 7 years into our marriage). It's been a little over 2 weeks since our last time, so considering that and how the evening was going, I thought it was a lock. But alas...it was not to be. She got into bed, turned out the light and rolled over. The end. Or so I thought.

I couldn't get to sleep. I was a little steamed about how this all went down and couldn't sleep, so I got out of bed and went and watched t.v. to help me go to sleep. Next morning she asks me where I went. I tell her what I did and she starts accusing me of having an Internet girlfriend! I didn't say it but all I could think was "I wish!" Anyway, turns out she WAS in the mood, but I just didn't pursue it. Uh...SHE ROLLED OVER AND DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?!?! How was I supposed to know that she was ready to go??? So that hung in the air all day.

That night, I get in bed and she follows and starts reading her book. Now...I'm not the brightest guy, but I figure after last night, we're due for some makeup sex...right? Well...I'm an idiot and I drift off while she's reading. But she finally turns off the light at around midnight and I wake up. She rolls over. So I'm thinking..."Should I try something? Or am I too late?" So I start making noises to let her know I'm awake. Shifting around, tossing in bed, all the usual tricks. Nothing. Damn.

Around 1pm she "wakes" up and goes to the bathroom. There's a chance! So after she comes back, I make my move. I put my hand on her back. Nothing. Then I move my hand down to her leg. She sits straight up and says, "Just go get the KY and let's get this over with!"

Soundly defeated and pissed off, I slept on the couch last night. It won't be the last night either. 3 weeks and counting...and still not an end in sight...

My sister is a complete nut job.

No really, she is. We grew up in the same house, have the same parents, were taught the same lessons, etc. But I’m really starting to wonder what has happened to her. I could go on and on about my sister, but this particular subject has me so bent out of shape I had to vent.

My sister, Susan, has two beautiful children. Let’s call them Brittney (6) and Kyle (1). Brittney and Kyle’s birthdays are a mere 18 days apart. I asked Susan what her plans were for their respective birthdays because she lives out of town and I needed to start making plans for the trip to see them. My sister then informs me that they will be ‘combining the kids’ birthdays this year…it would just be easier that way.’ Are you kidding me? Her logic is that the same people will be coming to both birthdays anyway so why not just send out one big invite and let everyone come all at once?

Am I the only one that has issue with this? I mean, asking my poor niece to share her 7th birthday with her little brother? Granted, Kyle is still too young to care, but he WILL know what a birthday is all about by his 3rd. And according to my sister, all Brittney will get next year is a couple of her friends to come over and spend the night. No party. Nothing. Why would an 8-year-old little girl want a party anyway? OMG!

Growing up, birthdays were always a HUGE deal in our family. It was YOUR day. You didn’t have to share it with anyone else. Out of all the days in the year, your birthday was yours alone. You got to pick what you wanted for your birthday dinner, what kind of cake you wanted, and so on. We didn’t have the money for a huge party with all the entertainment, party favors, and decorations you see these days. But I always got to do something that I wanted, and I certainly never had to share my day with my sister.

I’m still in total shock that Susan is doing this, and she thinks it’s ok. Lack of money isn’t the issue, it’s strictly done out of convenience. At least I hope that’s what it is. I mean, certainly no mother could be that oblivious to the importance of a birthday for their own child(ren). Is it fair for my sister to be forcing her kids to share their birthday only because it is more convenient for her? Is it right that she is taking away the only day that belongs to these precious children? Am I just being totally irrational about this?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

My Wife wants a boob job...

And she's determined to get it. Now this might seem strange coming from the man who married her...but I could care less. And here is why...
I'm NEVER gonna see them ANYWAYS!
All the time she is asking me... "What size should I get?" ... or ... "Won't you love them even more if they're bigger?"
And my only thought is..."Who cares?"
I figure my wife and I have sex, in the dark, at most, twice a month on a good month! I never see her naked. She covers up the second she hears my footsteps coming up the stairs after her shower. I get nothing! So she asks me if I'm excited that she wants to enhance her boobs?

Whatever... Get your boobs. See if I care. It's just gonna cost our kids their first quarter of college tuition. No biggie.

My wife is so insecure and so pathetic sometimes it makes me want to scream! Maybe if she just loosened up and realized that I love her for who she is, she might see herself in a different light.
But as it stands, I am not impressed. I'm not impressed with the thought of her having bigger boobs to tease me with and I'm not impressed with the high school mentality that having bigger breasts will make her more confident. It's all bullshit. I married her for who she is. Too bad she can't see that.

Get your boob job. You silly, little woman. See if it makes you feel any better. As for me, I have sports and Internet porn to keep me busy. And it costs me about $35 a month for the Internet hookup...

Open Letter to my Husband

When he passed away, our marriage changed. You changed. I changed.
I know it was inevitable, but it was also heartbreaking.
I live with these changes daily.
You may not notice.......
I used to hug, kiss, touch, fawn over you.
Now? Not so much.
When you pushed me away, time after time, and rejected me while you mourned, it created something that I am not strong enough to fix.

A part of me is tore up by this; I cannot seem to heal it enough to actually let you back in.
But
just as painful is the isolation that has been created within me.

I miss you. I miss me. I sometimes don't recognize this me that I am now.

I miss our connection.

I miss you letting me tickle you, and you playfully kicking me off the bed.

Ultimately, I miss US.

Where do we go from here?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Welcome! Please make yourself at home!

Hello there! This blog has been created with you (and us!) in mind.

Please feel free to use this blog to vent, rant, blow off steam, or air your dirty laundry, all with the safety of ANONYMITY. Email your post to useyourwordz (at) gmail (dot) com and it will be posted within a couple of days.

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Here’s the deal:


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Enjoy!!

Saturday, August 9, 2008